I hate my own secrets. Secrets shared by others are welcome and closely kept; but my own secrets are made to be shared. When conversing on a topic that is remotely related to my own secret of the hour/day/month, I almost feel deceitful if I don't disclose. Sometimes I think this may worry Dan because the fine lines between his secrets and my secrets and shared secrets are sometimes blurry. It's not that he wants to be secretive, but he doesn't understand my need to disclose everything about us to everyone. "What's the point of sharing?" is often his response. I ask "what's the point in keeping stuff quiet?"
For instance, a couple months ago while shopping for a new car, Dan casually mentioned to me that we didn't need to tell the salespeople (hereafter "vultures") that we were shopping for a replacement because his car had been stolen. It was so hard and I did blab a few times.
Vulture #4: What brings you out here today?
Me: Because his car was STOLEN
or
Vulture #67: Why are you looking for a new vehicle today?
Me: To replace the one that was STOLEN
To answer any differently would be dishonest (sorta) because that WAS the reason we were there. What other explanation was I to give? (Besides "because I love to play dead carcass for you vultures to prey on.")
posted by amanda @ 2:33 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
On the conversation with Vulture #4, disclosure wasn't necessary for honesty: you were there to buy a car. The fact that a previous car was stolen had nothing to do with you shopping for a new one at that particular place, which is what the vulture was asking.
But then, my business partner continually hounds me when I accidentally let a "secret" slip or say something too loud while we're walking down an empty hallway...
And then it offers such a great chance to be a smart aleck. "Why are you looking for a new vehicle today?" "Because we want one," "What business is that of yours?" or even simply, "Why not?"
It's such fun to annoy the vultures--they still have to play polite.
Oh my gosh, that sounds just like me! Kevin is constantly telling me that I give way too much information to people. He is a minimalist when it comes to giving information - he only gives what's necessary. I, however, always feel compelled to elaborate. Sigh . . .
We're looking forward to seeing you guys in a few weeks at the OBCL alumni association meeting. :)
Yes, it's very true. As I read your blog entry, even before I read Amy's comment, I was thinking: "This sounds JUST like Amy." What is it with you two girls feeling the need to divulge so much information? ESPECIALLY in situations that may turn into a negotiation, where information (or the lack thereof) is often a commodity.
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